


The saddest man on earth (it was right)

by RiRifan



Series: Daydreams [6]
Category: CLOY - Fandom, 사랑의 불시착 | Crash Landing on You (TV), 사랑의 불시착 | Crash Landing on You (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, open eye dreaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26108341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiRifan/pseuds/RiRifan
Summary: When he grabbed her hand in his parent's living room that Christmas, it felt right. He was with the woman he was in love for, and with his parents. It was right. It was normal.
Relationships: Yoon Se-ri Ri Jeong Hyeok
Series: Daydreams [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800217
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	The saddest man on earth (it was right)

A hand in her one. Just a hand.

A simple gesture which meant anything for him.

Jeong Hyeok couldn’t say when that woman had become so important for him.

Maybe it had been something gradual.

She had been his first dirty thought in years. Until that moment, he only had experienced rare moments of light euphoria reading some particularly smutty page on his books, but it had something that had ended in less than five minutes. But her, no, she had lasted for a night, the thought of her naked in his bathroom made that bathroom a room he couldn’t thought at without flushing. Maybe she had lasted more than a night, maybe she was still lasting.

She had been his first kiss. And yes, it had been a sort of emergency kiss, like the time he had to say that she was his girlfriend. But still, it was the first time that his lips had touched a woman.

And she had been a woman living in his house, and it was weird and in some way exciting itself. Never in life he have had a woman so close. And what a woman. Beautiful. Smart. Chatty. She seemed to not have noticed his will to be left alone. Instead, she had constantly teased him involving him in the most weird conversation of his life about that thing of the six months of condolences. Or forcing him to pretend that she was his girlfriend just to be seen by the peoples of the village.

That had been funny.

Or when for a second he had believed that she had gone to that birthday party just to help him.

Or that night, when looking at her smile he had felt like if he had gained the star for real because he had been able to make her smile and have fun.

Or the day after, when she was so clearly pleasured by his coffee. Or two days before, when he had felt the need to buy coffee and wake up early to roast and grind that coffee just because she had said “coffee”. Or one day before, when for the first time after his brother’s death he had felt the need to buy that clams and celebrate because it had been a lucky day at work, a very lucky one.

Not even when he had became captain he had felt the need to celebrate. There was nothing to celebrate. Until she arrived.

Maybe when he had seen her so lost in the market, realizing that the bold host, at last, was this: a woman alone and lost which he would have wanted to help for all his life.

Or when she had given two fingers heart to Gwan-beom and jealousy struck him like a stab.

Or when she had told him that she wished for him an happy life. And confessed that she had been on point to kill herself, making him face again that sensation that, behind the strong bold and arrogant woman, there was a person as fragile as him.

Or when he couldn’t see her and had became mad because she was with another man.

For sure, when he had heard the doctor and the nurse telling him that Se-ri had cried for an entire day for him, he already was just waiting for a sign from her. Just waiting to be sure, more than sure of her. He couldn’t have faced a rejection, he needed to be more than sure, needed it for himself. He wouldn’t have gone to test something so important, he wouldn’t have exposed himself to the risk of such a shame and sadness, to the risk to lose someone again.

Yes, when he had kissed her, it had been not because he liked her, but because she had became the air he was breathing.

Despite they now where barely in touch, family was important for Jeong Hyeok. He and Mu Hyeok had grew up in a warm place, having fun as well as studying hard, being used to social events as well as being repaid with moments for them four. It was because of this that Mu Hyeok’s death had been so disruptive for him. That tragic event broke the perfect life of his family.

Even now, his parents opinion was important, the most important for him. He had joined the army because of his father, and accepted to marry Seo-dan and never had said no to anything. And not even for a second he had felt less than loved from both his parents even if his father’s request could have seemed too severe. The one to recommend Se-ri had been the first favor he had asked in years, and he always had worked more than seriously, both because the values he had been educated at was something he strongly believed in, and because he wanted to preserve the honor of their family name. He was a Ri, and proud of it.

That’s why, despite he had just spent two nights in prison, despite he had drove like a crazy, hoping to see her alive but sure that she already wasn’t, despite it was his father the one who had made him believe so strongly that the woman he was in love for was dead, in some way, being in his parents living room with her, it seemed right.

It was right. There was him, the woman he was in love for, and his parents. It was right. It was like things should have been.

That’s why, when he had grabbed her hand, it had felt right. It felt like if she was his fiancé. Everything was perfect in his heart. He was holding the hand of his fiancé in front of his parents. That was normal, that was right.

When she came back in the South and he remained alone at the border, during the endless days when his soldiers leaved him alone, sensing his need to remember her all the time, Jeong Hyeok recalled that moment more and more times.

It had been just a second or something more, but he had lived this with her. He had achieved this memory of being with his parents and the woman he was in love for. Like a couple in visit.

It wasn’t something of him, but Jeong Hyeok indulged in dreaming. If she would have been his fiancé for real. If she would have been his wife. They could have visited for real his parents this way, seating in the living room and chatting about this and that. And maybe, later, looking at some child playing on the ground. And Se-ri would have ate his mother’s noodle with her usual way to enjoy the food, and she would have discussed about business with his father, because she was smart enough. And they would have been respectful and silent, but lovely, and then they would have returned to their house and spent the rest of the day together.

And thinking at this impossible future, Jeong Hyeok felt the saddest man on earth and a stupid, because it only was a useless dream. Useless, but how sweet.


End file.
